Quan Zhi Gao Shou (The King’s Avatar) is so dang good: An informal review

I’m stressed because I’ll be moving across the country in a couple of weeks, so I’m taking a break from my responsibilities to talk about my current obsession: 全职高手 (The King’s Avatar.

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The King’s Avatar is a Chinese “anime” about e-sports, a combination of words that I had zero interest in until a couple of months ago when this show started airing. My friend recommended it so I watched the first couple of episodes. And man, I was expecting like an even lower quality SAO ripoff but King’s Avatar is surprisingly great???? I was pleasantly surprised and continued watching and then when I caught up I went to find the novel and plowed through all 600+ currently translated chapters in a couple of weeks and now here I am.

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It turns out that wisdom teeth extractions aren’t ~that~ scary after all

I got my wisdom teeth extracted yesterday. Another thing to check off the “I am an adult” list.

I was actually not as anxious as I thought I would be. Mostly because I was going to be under general anesthesia and it would be over before I knew it. Aside from the brief pain of the needle going in, it just felt like I had a good nap. I woke up in the recovery room really comfortably. The single downside was that half my face was numb but that’s unavoidable. Also, they changed my gauze before I left and I nearly threw up at the amount of blood. And then I had to change my own gauze, which was the worst part. The local anesthesia on my face wore off unevenly too, so the left half of my face was fine, but only the lower right side of my face was numb and it felt weird. Also highly inconvenient when trying to eat.

I’m still not entirely sure that the sockets are healing okay because it seemed like the bleeding just wouldn’t stop yesterday. I ran out of gauze and didn’t have any tea bags so I just kind of left it alone? And went to sleep lmao probably not the best decision. But hey, I’m pretty sure I’m not bleeding anymore. Even if I end up with dry sockets they’ll still heal eventually.

Surprisingly, it’s day 2 and there’s not much swelling at all. My cheeks are slightly swelled because I can feel them slightly pressed against my teeth on the inside, but I can even smile normally right now.

I’ve heard that day 3 is the worst day for pain/swelling, so fingers crossed that I’ll survive TT

I think I’m still a little delirious right now? Because the sentences I’m typing are a little strange. The painkillers make me nauseous even when I eat something with it. Plus I have no appetite in the first place because I’m nauseous. Ugh…

The dental place called to check up and they said I can start rinsing and brushing my teeth now. But like, what if I disturb the blood clots? I’ll probably wait another few hours just to give myself peace of mind.

I looked in my mouth yesterday to check the bleeding and man, that was the worst idea I’ve had all year because there’s this giant freaking hole in my mouth and it’s scary af????? So now I can’t stop worrying because what if something gets stuck in there?? And causes an infection???? I mean, the surgeon gave me antibiotics but still.

All I want to do is sleep because that’s when it’s most comfortable but I still have to take my medications on time TT

Fingers crossed that there are no complications in recovery

Not so cheers this time (-﹏-。)

How to talk on the phone without panicking (too much)

Talking on the phone is really scary. Whenever I have to make or receive a phone call, I get extremely anxious and it doesn’t go away for a while afterwards. Plus, I end up stuttering and mixing up words, so I feel ridiculous. But talking on the phone is unavoidable as an adult…

The number one thing that calms me a little bit is preparing beforehand. I do this before presentations too. First, I write down what message I would leave if the call goes to voicemail (the best case, tbh). Voicemails are fine for me as long as I have a script to read. Don’t forget to leave your phone number and end with a thank you.

Next, I write down the opening lines in case someone actually picks up the phone. This becomes easier to write once you have the voicemail down because I just shorten it a bit if needed. Obviously, this method works best if you anticipate that the entire conversation will be fairly short. I had to call the dentist to confirm an appointment earlier today, and someone will always pick up during working hours. But a confirmation call is like less than a minute long, and my entire script was basically just “Hi I’m calling to confirm an appointment I made for next Monday at 2pm.” And the receptionist takes over from there because she just asks your name and confirms the time. And then it’s just a “Okay, thank you. Bye.” and you’re all done! It’s a little embarrassing to admit that even this kind of conversation makes me anxious, but hey, what can you do? So yeah, with the script, I’m pretty much fine.

For the longer conversations, I still kind of depend on a script. The difference is that you have to anticipate different responses and prepare for each one. For example, I’ve been doing a lot of phone interviews for jobs lately. Even then, job phone interviews all have a basic script to follow because you can search up common questions on the internet. And then prepare answers to all of them. All of them. A lot of interview advice tells you to only prepare bullet points so that your answers don’t sound too robotic. That doesn’t work for me because then I’d be likely to stumble on answers because I can’t think fast enough to turn the bullet points into full, coherent sentences. Instead, I do write the full sentences out in a conversational tone. I also practice saying them out loud (or at whisper level) in slightly different ways so that I don’t sound overly robotic. Even with this preparation, there are still interview questions that trip me up depending on my mental state at the time. The last phone interview I had, they called ten minutes late and the first question was something like “Tell us about your background and interests and what drew you to this position and what you want to do in the future.” Like, please chill. That’s way too much for me to handle, especially since I had just been starting to panic over the call not coming. So I ended up rambling on a little and also sometimes pausing a little too long and now I cringe just thinking about it. Luckily, I relaxed a little as the interview went on, and the conversation because smoother when I could follow my script again (and I had also talked to these people before, so). I mean, I still feel a low level anxiety over it, but it’s over at least.

The only other way I think is useful to calm phone anxiety is to force yourself to practice a lot. I worked part-time at my university library the entire time I was a student, and you have to answer all the phone calls at the front desk. So you get all sorts of calls, especially since sometimes the caller would be asking for some other place at the university instead. So yeah, you just kind of… have to deal with it? And you have to be polite and helpful to all of them or else you can bring down the reputation of the entire library. Luckily, my supervisors were all really nice, and if I ever ran into a situation I didn’t know how to deal with, I could just transfer the call over to them. Still, just getting a bunch of calls and having to answer them gets you a lot of practice. People would sometimes ask weird or unreasonable things at the front desk in person too, and I got pretty good at dealing with those as well even when working alone. At first, I was way out of my depth because I’m so socially anxious, but the library is pretty low-key in general, and I needed the job, so having to deal with it over time dampened my anxiety quite a bit.

My mindset has a lot to do with it too. I’ll think about how phone calls are not even that bad in the grand scheme of the universe. And then rinse and repeat. I tell myself that the upcoming phone call will probably be pretty short and not a big deal. Or in the case of phone interviews, I over-prepare enough that I can tell myself “hey, you’ve already done so much to prepare for this. There won’t be any big surprises.” Of course, sometimes there still is, but during the call, there’s also nothing you can do but move on, so my anxiety gets delayed until after the call ends. It’s still not great, but as long as I’m mostly not anxious going in, I can deal with it until afterwards. And afterwards, I can have a few minutes to calm myself down with a short meditation or journaling.

At the end of the day, phone calls are still kind of scary. You can’t see the other person’s expression, and you can’t see any body language at all. The only cues aside from their words are their voice fluctuations and tones. They’re not that helpful. These days, most phone conversations involve things like making appointments (which have an established script) and phone interviews (which also have a fairly established script), so there’s that relief. Aside from that, the only people I talk on the phone with are my parents and occasionally my co-workers, all of whom I’m familiar with and are also familiar with me.

Even though phone calls still make me anxious, I can at least combat it with over-preparation and the right mindset. So then, phone calls transform from Sisyphus-pushing-the-boulder-uphill-difficulty down to somewhere around carrying-an-especially-heavy-load-of-laundry-difficulty. Not the most ideal situation, but not terrible. If there’s some sort of script, it’s even easier, like holding-a-small-cup-of-water-for-a-few-minutes-difficulty. So yeah, basically the more phone calls you have to make, the better you get, and the more your mindset changes, and then it’s a piece of cake. You still have to watch out for pieces of eggshells, because it’s not a particularly well-made cake, but the occasional bad phone conversation happens to everyone anyways.

No one is great at everything, and I think the majority of younger people in this world also dislike talking on the phone. I mean, why call when texting is so much faster and non-intrusive? However, voice-only communication probably isn’t going away anytime that soon, and all you can really do is your best.

Cheers (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Sometimes past me makes current me cringe

That’s a sign of progress right?

Pretty sure I had a chuunibyou phase lasting all through middle school and a good bit of high school, now that I think about it. Sometimes I just want to go back in time and tell myself to chill lmao

As embarrassing as it is, I think acknowledging that your past self was not your best self means that your current self is at least better than your past self? Or at least, you like yourself better than you did in the past. I certainly hope I’m a better person now, and all you can really do is try your best and keep on improving I guess.

That’s it. Just wanted to get that out there.

Cheers ԅ[ •́ ﹏├┬┴┬┴

What’s this “networking” thing anyways?

I sent a ~networking~ email to an intimidating person my friend referred me to today. Ngl, it took me a full hour to draft the email and then I just sat and stared at it for several minutes. And finally, when I had to press the send button before I completely chickened out, I had to close my eyes as I did it. But I did it. I did it!!!!

Honestly, I’ve never understood networking and I probably never will. I’m generally very introverted and shy and reserved and anxious and a bunch of other descriptors that are not very helpful in any sort of social situation. Plus, I frequently doubt my own abilities and aspirations, which makes job searching and applying a personal hell. Tbh, I’m pretty sure that if I just, sort of, loosened up, I’d probably save myself a giant load of anxiety and stress. Especially in reaching out to people. Or even just any communication with people I admire/am intimidated by. But wow, self-consciousness just gets me every time. I just cannot ignore that little voice in my head that whispers ridiculous things like “they think you’re completely incompetent” or “you suck and soon everyone will know it.” And then I end up really wanting to just run away and ignore everything, even if it’s important. I still need to level up a lot more to win.

Then again, I did have a small adulting win today! Even if the person doesn’t reply or thinks I’m some random ignorant creeper, at least I sent the email. I’m satisfied. Now back to the grind.

If you have any advice or want to commiserate, feel free to leave a comment~

Cheers (╯; ﹏ ;╰)

Why I stop watching some anime in the middle

This post was scheduled ahead of time; I’m probably out of town right now.

The list of all the anime that I didn’t like and dropped without finishing is really long (83 shows long, to be exact), so going through all of them is out of the question. There’s only so many reasons I usually have for dropping anime anyways, so I thought that it would still be interesting (to me at least) to just take a look at why I drop certain shows. This isn’t a complete list, but I have opinions and they’re not damaging and I felt like expressing them and this is my personal blog.

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